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| Itchy For More |
| 04.26.04 (1:48 pm) [edit] |
Yeah I havent written in a while here--I havent been around amny puters as of late. No car, rainy days, avoiding more-than-necessary busrides.....
And I've got just ten minutas here....That doesnt help my inspiration!!!
Been mostly just lonely and yucky lately...Emotional, reflective, thinking hard about where I'm at and where I wanna go and the people in my life and who I wish had more space in there...Wishing I could just transport all my good friends down here. Bring the noise. The party. The action. The youth. Remind me that I'm NOT 87 years old yet and that I should be having fun and going out and having friends. Did I mention I miss my friends? A lot? I need 'em like a punk rocker needs to dress like his friends. Heh.
Yeah. I've been avoiding thoughts by watching too much t.v.--when it works. When it doesnt work (it gets fuzzy and stuff-its a bit ghetto in my hizzy) I watch movies or read or sleep or do ANYthing to stave off boredom and pain. Depression. NOT a motivator.
I don't know.....
I talked to Curtis (FINALLY). He is drinking a lot again and trying to find a night bar job and "dating" a bunch of girls again. He's not ready. Nope. But at least its not me-and its not that he chose that ONE girl over me--he just chose his easy party life over me...I could be a partytime, but I would demand monogomy (for the most part), so Out the Window I went....I understand. And I'm glad I didnt sacrifice everything I was ready to-just to be somewhere else with no money and no Boy and no nuthin'. Ay yiyiiyiyiy. Memories make perfection where there is none. I miss him. I wish he was ready for me.
I wanna teach. I've decided that at least...Or re-decided it anyway--confirmed it.
oopos gotta go-gonna be logged off automatically...peace out foo's-----Wandering Heat.....
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posted by: audaryalila (reply)
post date: 05.03.04 (4:54 pm)
Hey girl...I sent you some more pics, but they came back...:( Ah well. Hope you start feeling better soon. I think it's cool you wanna teach....
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